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Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
So long pants! See you Monday!
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.