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Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?