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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
My favorite drink is the fullest one on the table.
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
I knew we would be the best of friends when you said drinks are on you
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.