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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.