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I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.