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My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.