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I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
How come the voices inside of a crazy person`s head never say shit like "hey, go to the gym" or "hey, cure cancer" or "hey, don`t be crazy"?
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?