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I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
Bad Morning: As I sit on the throne remembering I used all the toilet paper last night for Halloween pranks.
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.