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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.