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If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
You`re never too old to ride in a radio flyer wagon but apparently you can be too fat.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.