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never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!