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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, Iām calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Why has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.