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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.