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Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
Just scraped 3 inches of "Mostly Cloudy" off my car.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.