Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
Every have one of those moments where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn if I weren`t me, I`d totally hit that."
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.