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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.