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What number SPF blocks people?
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
I`m gonna hang a Batman costume in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
As it turns out, Iām not an afternoon person either.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. Iām thinking about getting her a treadmill.