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A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."