Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.