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Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..