Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.