Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
I only drink alcohol because there aren`t enough ways to eat it.
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.