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Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria. You decide.
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
GAL: Would you keep me in your heart forever? BOY: Nop! GAL: (sadly)...why? BOY: Because then you`ll occupy only one part of me...but i`ll keep you in my heart, mind & let you complete me.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
The wife has been missing a week now, police said to prepare for the worst, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"