Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.