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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal