Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pornography only gets called by its full name when it`s in trouble too.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider`s web.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
I kinda dig you, want to hang out and stuff until we hate each other?
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
I feel sorry for people who don`t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in