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I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
sleep is for people without netflix
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!