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My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
If only my ceiling fan could hold my weight, then I would never be bored again.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.