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...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone`s ok with that.
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.