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Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?