Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
I like to drink while I clean and that`s how I found out what Febreze tastes like.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
I`m pretty sure whoever coined the phrase " rise and shine", doesn`t do it anymore.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
No, no, no, you don`t have to engage in a long explanation of why you`re single. We`ve spent five minutes together, I think I`ve got it.
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science