Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.