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...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.