Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time