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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.