Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
My problem is that all food is comfort food
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.