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Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Only in math problems you can buy 60 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
The recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........