Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Remember before the internet when all the people at the video store knew you watched porn alone on Saturday mornings
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms