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Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, `Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car`
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
hilarious