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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
I’m late for a disappointment.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.