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K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I don’t cut in front of people whenever I’m waiting in long line, that’s rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!