Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
My house isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
You know you`re getting old when Happy Hour is a nap.
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.