Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn`t doing his part of the chores around here
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.