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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside