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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
A man is as faithful as his options
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".