Daily Silly Status

For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.

I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.

My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.

Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?

Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind

$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...

I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.

I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.

It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...

I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.

Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!

I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.

i hate that the sun comes up so early

roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you

You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”