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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
Tonight I’m trying to get to that happy place right between don’t know my own name and head in the toilet.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.