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If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
A good way to break up with a girl gently, is to curtsy when you`re meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.