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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.