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I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn`t have a dollar.
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
Nothing says β€œI don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)