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I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
I try not to limit my madness to March.
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?