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A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
is ready to have one too many!