Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?