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Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Sometimes it`s easy to forget we would all violently murder each other if we couldn`t obtain basic food or water. Have a great day guys.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!