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I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.