Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
Siri, where are my pants?
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: "Why am I talking to myself?"
Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say “studies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.