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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don`t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.