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"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it`s an intervention.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
I try not to brag but I`m really quite good at Yoga. I`m not flexible or anything but I am a master of that "Empty Your Mind" part
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!