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I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.