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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili`s at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I`ve decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili`s.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.