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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
BREAKING NEWS: New $100 bills start circulating yesterday. I wish this affected my life in any way.
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.