Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
I always get naked before I get in bed so I don`t know why this lady at Sears is giving me a dirty look in the mattress section.
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?