Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
If you are used to seeing a fat, naked guy walk around his house, then you are probably my neighbor.
Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I should die before I wake, tell my friends I drank it straight.
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"