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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??