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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
No pants are the best pants.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.