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I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Don`t waste my timeline.
Find someone you`re good at.
Word for the day is asstard
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.