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I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.