Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
I know u r but what am I ?
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.