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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
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My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage